Photo: Super Mom Action Figure
I am so tired of it. Of pursuing it. Of coveting it. Of believing it is even possible. No more. From now I am rejecting the myth of everything. It has no place in my life anymore. – Capital Mom
On the weekend I read ‘the myth of everything’ from a fellow Canadian writer and mom. The blog post was circulating via Twitter from several writers/mothers/bloggers that I follow and admire. And though this was the first piece of writing I had ever read from the Capital Mom I immediately identified with her words.
There are only so many hours in the day, only so many days in a life, and I want to spend them pursuing happiness. My life doesn’t look like the pages of Real Simple or a handmade/homemade vision board on Pinterest. It looks like my life. Flawed, with windows that only get cleaned when company is coming (if that!) but filled with people and passions that I love: my family, writing, sharing, my pursuit of the elusive pull-up, travel.
A nice trickle down effect from rejecting possessions has been the rejection of a lot of things I once thought I should do. When I got rid of the stuff my dreams got bigger. Bigger dreams and goals equaled a more focused life. Focus sometimes meant smaller but deeper. More time and energy for the people closest to me. Lately I’ve been spending more time in the kitchen experimenting with new recipes, a favourite hobby, and less time doing my hair (bit of a fail on the 2011 challenge but, hey, priorities change). Without all the stuff – the ownership of it, the pursuit of it, the stress of it – I have better clarity. I know who and what I want to spend my time on.
I really enjoyed reading Capital Mom’s account of her breakthrough. Who doesn’t love reading about someone passionately taking their life back? I read her post and nodded my head and thought, yes, this is it.
Capital Mom wrote that she is prioritizing three things in her life and letting go of the rest:
Smack is the sound of my clean house falling to the ground. Splat goes the list of all the things I think I should be doing with my life. Boom can be heard as I let other’s expectations of me fall away. – Capital Mom
I thought I would share my three things, the things I embrace, love and that give me joy every day. Yes, I still have bathrooms to clean and at the moment a backlog of laundry, but these are the things I put at the top of my list
My mom just visited for a week. She left today and I had a few weepy moments this morning ruminating on the fact that Henry and I won’t see her regularly for the next few years. This is the hard side of moving overseas. Skype and visitors make it tolerable. We’ll also be heading back to Vancouver at least once a year for a two week stretch.
I have let some more casual friendships slip away, or go into remission you might say, to focus on family. I deleted my personal Facebook account back in January (still don’t regret it!) so most of my online contact outside of this blog is with a few very close friends and immediate family. Instead of surfing Facebook I lurk Skype in the afternoon hoping to catch my West Coast kin and friends before they head to work. I love it. The other day I chatted with my good friend in Seattle and our two boys said hello to each other through computer screens. Technology can do some beautiful things for us.
I’m back in the gym doing Crossfit workouts (and getting some strange looks as I do Burpees and Sumo Deadlift High Pulls), walking a lot (as we do with no car) and running a few times a week. I’m also getting great sleep and am in the process of changing my diet. I’ll probably write about it here at a later date but I’m trying to eat mostly single ingredient unprocessed foods. Vegetables, fruit, nuts, seeds and meat. I’m reading a lot about nutrition and trying to listen intently to my body to see what makes me feel best.
I confessed, actually kind of whispered, a while back that I want to write as a career. I want to earn a living as a writer but I also want to write every day. I want to make it a habit and a profession. It’s still a work in progress but I’m getting there. Slowly, day by day, word by word, I’m working at the craft of it and learning more about freelancing as a career.
I try and build my days around these three pillars. Some days I’m focused and efficient and at the top of my game. Some days it hits 4pm and I wonder where it all went. I’m not a Supermom. Just me.
Do you have a priority list like this? Anyone have a family mission statement or personal mission statement that they use to decide where to put time and energy?