On newborn time here (lots of coffee!) and have revamped some holiday posts from the archives. Hope you are enjoying the holiday season!
gift 1. something given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone, honor an occasion, or make a gesture of assistance; present.
When did we get so far away from true gift giving?
When did we turn to an obligatory swapping of lists and junk filled office present exchanges? When did we sour and steal the simple pleasure of giving and receiving?
I want a return to joyful gift giving.
Gifts without obligation or expectation. Gifts that are given with excitement and thoughtfulness. Gifts that are given without thought to making things “fair” or “equal” between multiple recipients. Maybe we need a reminder of what gifts are supposed to be and mean.
Gifts are given with warmth and friendship – not obligation.
Gifts are given without expectation of reciprocation.
Gifts weren’t bought off a list handed to them by the recipient.
Gifts are given solely with the recipient’s use in mind – not the givers.
Also, gifts are what the recipient wants or needs, not what the giver thinks they should want or need.
Gifts can be things that are unwrapped or experienced.
Gifts can be silent with the recipient never knowing who the helping hand or thoughtful friend was.
Gifts can be many, many things. A warm meal, a bottle of wine, a pep talk when it is needed most, a shoulder to cry on, encouragement in tough times, a letter, and sure, an iPad.
Even last minute gifts have meaning. A gift can be a sign of gratitude, a hope for the future or recognition of a milestone. A gift shows your level of friendship or intimacy with the recipient. Think about that when you feel pressure to buy a soap-on-a-rope or pre-gift wrapped DVD as a last minute sign of friendship or gratitude this season.
Sometimes it’s better to give a warm hug, good cheer and a loaf of homemade banana bread than something with a gift receipt.
One of my favourite posts about gifts is from Joshua Becker: 35 Gifts Your Children Will Never Forget. I teared up reading it last year and again this year. It is a great reminder for parents that we give gifts to our children year round. When you are feeling anxious that there isn’t enough under the tree, or that you should do one last trip for a few stocking stuffers, read 35 Gifts Your Children Will Never Forget. Enjoy 🙂
I am really okay with no gifts on Christmas. I’d rather just give someone a gift when it occurs to me or they need it during the year and not be so focused on finding that “perfect” thing for someone or worse, scouring Pinterest on a budget, making everyone latte soaps.
If I could redesign this holiday it would be about getting together, everyone pitching in where they can so it’s not heavy work for the hosts (whether it’s bringing a covered dish or helping out with the clean-up). If it became effortless to host, more people would do so and we would have a lot more celebrating in our darkest and coldest months. =)
Sitting in quiet at my in-laws’ house (with some coffee) (while the kids are all off with various grandparents and aunts for the morning!) and reading a bunch of your posts. What a delightful morning! I just popped over to the one on “what if I need it again after I give it away?” and that resonates so well with the idea of not holding onto “things” for the sake of just holding on, especially as we think about giving and receiving Christmas gifts, what to choose, what to gift to our children, and our desire to give them experiences not just items.
A few phrases that have really helped me (the recovering pack-rat) over the years:
1. You can’t take it with you… (eg, “….when you die”) – During our days of moving every 12-18 months, I had a beautiful tea light holder from Mexico that I wanted to be sure to take with us to Honduras to have on the kitchen counter – “so I would feel at home” — but as I was repacking boxes before we left the States, I found it was already broken. Turns out, sometimes you can’t even count on taking it with you to the next house… Possessions are fleeting. People are what matter.
2. Hold onto the memories, not the stuff. This was wisely said by my mom as we were cleaning out ALL the stuffed animals given to me by great aunts, great grandmas, etc – too many toys to keep/ store. She was right. Digital pictures are also super helpful!!
3. Someone else could be using this/ playing with this/ wearing this. It’s what I’m constantly telling myself and my kids as we clean out drawers, closets and toy bins. They’ve gotten really good at not saving stuff we don’t need/use/wear, which is good in our 1100 sq foot house with ***no*** storage and 5 people.
Beautifully said!
I just want you to know that I used to read scores of blogs per week, and in an effort to spend my time on the things that matter (i.e., my husband and children), I have stopped reading all of them… except yours. I am so excited when I see your blog pop up in my inbox. You only blog when you truly have something to say, and that’s what keeps me anticipating your next post. I am not a “minimalist” in the strict sense of the word (our house is full of stuff even after 2 years of purging!) nor is the strict sense of minimalism right for me, but the IDEALS behind minimalism are universal and I keep reading your blog because you really help me focus and pick out the things I need to work on to achieve the simplicity, tranquility, and quality of life I strive for for myself and my family. So thank you, congrats on baby #3, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!
Thanks, Abby. I haven’t been on here that much this year as life with two, and now three, has kept me busy enough. I remind myself that I started this blog to help myself simplify so it’s low man on the totem pole right now: family and a bit of time to myself when possible are at the top.
Have a wonderful holiday season and thank you for the kind comment. 🙂 Cheers, Rachel
So true…giving should be selfless. So often we forget that Christmas started with the story of God pouring out His unhindered love and the greatest gift anyone has ever given. How we have really gotten things switched around and focused on ourselves! Thanks for the reminder to remember what’s most important.
Beautifully said Deb, Thanks.
This is an awesome post. I had to step back a few days ago and regroup. This season was totally stressing me out and I had to narrow down my field of vision in order to not hate Christmas entirely. I found that sending out Christmas cards helped a lot. It let people know I was thinking about them, without feeling the need to throw money at them. Thanks for sharing this!