When Did You Give Away the Baby Clothes and Gear and Stuff?
Was it when you felt you were done having children? Was it after the child outgrew it? Did any of you brave souls, knowing you would probably have more children, still decide on to give away the baby clothes to keep life simple?
I am very ready to part with newborn sleepers and in a few months, the bouncer our second and third children have used. Very ready and yet there is a teeny tiny small chance we would think about having a fourth child. Like a 1% chance it would even be discussed in the next few years. So there’s no harm in just keeping things for a while, right?
Nope. I want it all gone. I want the space, I want it off my mind, I want another baby, not my baby, to wear those impossibly small onesies and not have them packed away getting older and crunchier. Besides, as I wrote in my book The Minimalist Mom: How To Simply Parent Your Baby, experience has taught me that babies don’t really need that much. So it’s not like I’d have to replace every last thing.
So I’ve found someone that I can pass most of it on to. I’ll sell some of the pricier items – bouncer and Arms Reach Cosleeper – but mostly I’m ready to give away the baby clothes.
Letting Go of Things Often Means Saying Goodbye to Some Lovely Chapters in Your Life.
As I not just pack up and give away baby clothes but maternity clothes too, I am saying farewell to those months and years of a growing belly and the sweet anticipation of a new baby. I’m not very sentimental about the actual stuff but the act of letting these things go has been surprisingly emotional for me. I’m closing a chapter in my life that has been exciting and exhausting, beautiful and more enjoyable than I imagined it would be.
This is certainly why we often hold onto things well past their usefulness. We don’t want to let those memories or ambitions or that sweet time in our life go.
I get it. This time around I even feel it. And yet… letting the things go is part of moving on and into the next thing. The only constant in life is change. One way I can accept and enjoy the next chapter and all the change that comes with it, is to let go of the past. Which means, give away the baby clothes.
There are a few things I’m keeping. An outfit for each of the boys from when they were a newborn. A beloved hat and jacket. I’m thinking about making keepsake boxes for each of them to store special mementos from their childhood. I have a handful of things from my childhood that I love looking through every couple of years. But most of it will go. Just pictures and memories to mark these special years. That’s enough.
If you have children when did you let the baby things go? Was it when you were sure your family was complete or much later? Anyone have any special items from their babyhood that their parents kept for them?
So this is actually kind of opposite of what you are writing about but would be very interested in your input. I’m not pregnant, I don’t have any kids but for sure want one in the very near future. If you see an outfit or toy or something you really like for your future child, would you buy it? Is it bad luck to buy before the baby is even conceived?
Hi Michelle, This is such a personal choice. Before we got into minimalism, when I was pregnant with my first son, I bought a pair of baby shoes – very pretty mary jane style with roses on them when I was in Spain – and we ended up having all boys. I’ve actually kept the shoes over the years, even now that we are done having kids and have three boys, because if my twin sister someday has a girl I would love to give her those shoes. I think you can reap the benefits of minimalism without depriving yourself of things that bring you joy. Do what works for you! Cheers, Rachel
Hi. I heard about your blog from the book “Stuff-ication.” We’ve adopted 3 kids in 4 years (they’re currently 3, 2, 1) and we’re always expecting Baby #4. People thought I was crazy to give away all my kids’ outgrown clothes but it’s really been freeing. It was taking up way too much time and energy to keep it (and pack it away nicely, keep it dry, keep the kids/rodents out of it, etc). I only kept the middle boys clothes to pass onto the “baby” (mostly footie pjs which are a staple in my house) and a box of “if the baby comes tonight” stuff like sleep sacks, bottles, swaddlers, etc.
I recently minimized their current clothes too. I wouldn’t say that I’m “all there” but I’m making baby steps. I love what other people are saying about giving things to other and accepting things from others. Very neat. I’m off to explore more of your blog now 🙂
We’re dealing with this on two ends right now- my son is 18 months and my brother and his wife just had their first (this morning!), while our parents on both sides are downsizing and passing along all of those baby items they saved. My husband and I are not quite sure about having a second child, so we decided that we’d keep just our very favorite clothes and necessary items for another potential baby. But other than our son’s first outfit, we lent them all to my brother with the understanding that IF we have another, we’d need them back. They’re our favorite items from what we used for our son, but they’re not irreplaceable if they get wrecked (baby items are not a rare commodity!). We’d rather know that they’re getting used than know we could have helped a family we love but chose to hoard them instead for the great “what if?”. Doubly so, since we’ve been so blessed- even though we’re at the vanguard of our family and friends who are having kids, many of the grandparents and great-grandparents in our church will specially pick out hand-me-downs from their families in order to gift them to our son! He does not lack, as generosity seems to beget generosity, and sharing only strengthens those bonds.
For the long term storage, though, we’ll keep very, very little. Our parents kept almost everything, but even well preserved, it’s dated and not particularly usable for the newest generation (There have been some big changes in safety regulations, fashions, and child-rearing styles). And it’s a bit overwhelming for us and I think depressing for our parents to realize how few of the things they saved are things we want. One favorite stuffed animal (not the top 5), one or two favorite toys at each developmental stage (if you’re not sure if it’s truly a favorite right now, chances are your child won’t want it in the future), and one or two special items like heirloom quality decor is plenty! Pictures, stories, and happy memories will suffice for the rest. It all adds up pretty quickly when you think your child and their partner will likely both be bringing baby items to their nest!
Congratulations on the new addition to your family!
Great notes about the practical use of baby items that have been stored for a generation. A few tiny outfits is all we have kept and they are more for the boys to look than to pass down. Things are meant to be used!
Cheers, Rachel
Fortunately, I probably won’t have to deal with the clothing issue. My nephew wears the size in between my two boys, so my sister and I just swap clothes. We have a large rubbermaid tote dedicated to each size, which keeps it in check. With two more younger sisters, I’m sure these clothes will be passed on to them when they start families… so I can let them decide what to do with it all. I really have no attachment to clothes, and have no desire to hang onto them.
My mother, on the other hand, is the opposite. She has boxes of clothing from my and my sister’s childhoods. She hung onto a jumbo box of her maternity clothes as well! It feels wasteful, as no one is going to want to have their kids wear such outdated clothing even if she does manage to give it away, and it will probably get thrown away. If she’d give it away 20 years ago, maybe it could’ve been utilized.
I can understand where Megan is coming from. The process of getting rid of baby items has been painful for me. I have one child and wanted another, but my husband does not. My son was very colicky as a baby which makes me even sadder not to have a chance to do it again. My son is now 5, time has marched on and my age makes it’s too late to try again. I have (mostly) come to terms with only having one. I have been able to recently get rid of the crib and changing table and clothes. I do still have some maternity clothes in a box, which I hope to sell this year, if I’m ready.
I just wanted to add the perspective that it’s not always necessarily about the stuff, or the memories being more important than the stuff (which they are, of course). It can simply be too painful for some people to cope with getting rid of baby items. Sometimes the emotions are just too strong and we need more time to heal.
My daughter (and only child) is 6, and I’ve known for quite a while that we don’t plan to have another child. The baby stuff is long gone, which the exception of a couple of tiny keepsakes, it was easy to let go. It’s the maternity clothes I can’t part with. I don’t know why. I’m currently trying to de-clutter my garage, and I just can’t go near that bin of maternity clothes. Maybe it it because I’m very tall and it was so hard to find long maternity jeans, but I suspect that those clothes remind me, now that I’ve decided not to have another child, of a special time in my life-pregnancy- that I’ll never experience again. I don’t want to let go of things that take me back to that time.
My firstborn is coming up for 5 months (where did the time go?) and I’ve already gotten rid of all my maternity clothes and all of the clothes that he’s grown out of apart from things that were knitted for him, his snowsuits and the first two babygrows he wore. I definitely want more children but, short of a happy accident in the next few months, I’ll be moving before the next baby and I don’t want to schlep baby clothes across the country when they’re so cheap to buy secondhand. I have several friends who’ve had babies soon after me, so I passed all of the outgrown clothes along to them and have been enjoying watching them show up in Facebook photos being worn by their babies. I hadn’t realised that an advantage of this approach is that there’ll be less of a ‘no more babies’ clear out to do when we are finished.
However, just to play devil’s advocate, I am very glad that my mother in law couldn’t bear to part with her pram and stashed it in her loft instead, so now my baby is being pushed around in the Silver Cross Kensington pram that was bought for his father. If you have the storage space it’s nice to have the odd heirloom piece of baby equipment for the next generation.
I was sad when I got rid of DS’ baby clothes. I kept a few, though. Now I’m struggling with – what about his old toys? Donate to Goodwill, or keep some in a box for the day I become a grandmother? (b/c I’m so cheap I don’t want to have to buy new toys, lol).
Well and beautifully said. I had a lot of these feelings too. Hard to accept that I won’t be pregnant ever again (I actually really enjoyed that part!). Hard to accept that I won’t have a little baby of my own again. I’m goofy about their baby clothes – I have dozens of photos of clothes that each of my kids wore in their first year to help me feel better about getting rid of them! It makes me weirdly happy to see a close friend’s new little guy in our old bouncer. Getting rid of things does help me see the exciting new chapters we’re opening, too. Wonderful post.
This blog post is exactly what I’ve been looking for this week. We are expecting our 3rd child this fall and I’ve been hanging on to all our baby stuff because I knew we wanted more kids and I’m still not sure that we are done having kids after number three gets here. The amount of stuff is a bit overwhelming, but we can’t afford to buy all new stuff with each kid. So what is your advice for families that are in the stage of life where they are still having children and don’t want to, or are unable to purchase all new baby items for each child and a new maternity wardrobe with each pregnancy. Please post some practical advice.
I’m actually getting rid of my baby stuff now. I too want it all gone. There are some pieces that I’ll be holding onto as keepsakes but for the most part I want everything gone. Too much mental clutter. We’re 99% sure we’re not having any more kids but if it happens, we’re confident we’ll be blessed with whatever baby needs.
Oh, this is so pertinent right now.
I have a small box with the hospital card and bracelet, The dress both myself and my daughter wore, My diary from the first few months of her life, photos and a beanie. Her first drawing is the box too… that’s it.
We thought maybe we’d keep trying for another, but after January this year when our girl turned, we realised how complete our family feels already. We have kept one box filled with clothes and toys, the rocker and the port-a-cot (which we had planned to use full time for the newb) but I’m now finding myself desperate to get it out of the house. I occasional pine for another child, but I really am started to think it’s merely because it took so long to conceive our girl. This has sealed it for me. Come the yard/garage sale, it’s all gone.
*she just turned 3… ugh, typo.
I might be weird, but I’ve had four and got rid of everything (other than a few choice outfits as keepsakes) after each of them. Even with my first child I bought most of her clothes, toys, and bouncy seats etc used, took care of them, then sold them when we were done. This way I was out hardly any money, didn’t get attached to the items (some had small flaws or had been used by baby’s we didn’t know before us so it was harder to feel like it was “hers”), and I would have the cash to get new-to-us items that she did need without cramping our space. When our second came along, we did it all over again. Especially now with so many Facebook yardsale sites, and other web based second hand stores, it’s easy to find items in barely used condition for little money out of pocket.
I haven’t gotten rid of much, but I scheduled a pick-up from our home next week, so I’m hoping that will give me some motivation to start getting rid of things. It’s just all so cute, and the sentimentality comes along too, and we do have reasonable sized closets so….
Does this mean you are ‘complete’ with four? 🙂
Thrilled to see you comment here. I am a huge fan!
I have been stuck in this place for a while now! As I was packing up the “keep” pile from my latest weeding out of my 2YO’s closet I asked my husband if he agreed that 2 years worth of baby clothes was probably more than enough to get us through if we had another (boy). He agreed so I messaged a friend with a 9MO and asked her is she wanted my hand-me-downs and she joyfully accepted. I felt not only a physical burden being lifted as I handed her the box, but also a mental one too! Now I’m considering going through all of the newborn – 18 months space bags in the garage to see how much farther I can pair down! It’s true that for the rest of my house I don’t have issues tying memories to things, but for the baby clothes, I think the practical/money-conscious part of me sees they have a future repurposed use for us so we should keep them. However the minimalist in me wants to let it go. Oh the choices we have to make…
Mini Maroon #2 is seven months old now. Although we haven’t made a final decision, I think I’d like to add one more mini to our family. So for now, we keep it all. We do have the luxury of an attic to keep all the extra gear and clothes. If there isn’t another baby in our future, I will be okay with donating everything right then. But if we do add one more, I will donate as we get past each stage. I do think it will be somewhat liberating to give the stuff a new home and a new person to serve. I may change my song though when it becomes a reality for me as I’m forced to accept the end of the season in my life…
Our second boy is 3 months old now and a beast weighing 16lbs and wearing 9M sizes clothes. And I just found out I’m getting a new nephew. So all boy specific things and clothes are going to him and I’m only keeping my favorites and the more gender neutral things. (We know we are going for #3.) BUT we’re also moving across the county in a month so I’m trying to shed things as quickly as he grows out of them. I only store gear if it is super collapsible and gender neutral and somethings we us/used a long time. (3 months minimum.) My family is starting to call me a toy snob because I have such high standards for what gets to stay in my home.
Ha! My third baby is a beast too. He’s growing out of some of his 9-12 month clothing and is about to turn five months. The upside is that we can give away all those smaller quick to grow out of sizes.
Collapsible gear has been a huge hit with me. We have a Bjorn travel crib that I’ve used as a pack and play to take #2 to the gym and it was later his crib for six months. It will be used for the same purpose with #3. Love that it collapses down so easily and I can just tuck it under a bed when not in use.
I have 3 boys – 13,11, and 5. We thought we were done after son #2 and gave away all our stuff! Then baby 3 came and we had nothing – but my sister had two baby boys and I got hand me downs from her. It was a huge blessing – and the clothes and toys were practically new!
So nice to get hand-me-downs with a personal history too. 🙂
I gave away all our baby stuff after we had our third and before we moved into the bus. We wanted another child, but wanted to wait until after our house was built.
Of course, I found out I was pregnant the weekend we moved into the bus!
The thing about giving things away, particularly baby and maternity stuff, is that I find people are so willing to give things to you when you need them, which was the case in my situation.
Generosity is rarely the wrong move!
Agreed! Friends here are so eager to pass on their maternity clothes and exersaucers and baby toys- It feels really simple to pass my own things along.
We just had our fourth (and final) baby and I LOOOOOVE getting things out the door after she outgrows them:) Next up is the huge swing, bouncer seat, and jumperoo. I love how helpful they have been, but am eager to reclaim the space they take up:)
Congratulations on #4!!!
So true! I do like to get some money back on things we have invested in but if it’s not easy (ie. doesn’t sell quickly) I end up giving it away. Congratulations on your fourth!
I am currently pregnant with #3, and we don’t know when we will be done. Before I found out about this baby, I went through all the baby clothes and got rid of most of them, keeping only the favorites. I don’t regret it. We had too much anyway, and someone else can be using them now. We are fortunately in a financial position that we can buy more clothes when this baby comes, and grandparents are always gifting clothes. I will probably not get rid of any big items (bouncy seat, crib, exersaucer, etc) until we are for sure done. Not because they are expensive to replace, but because we really love the ones we have and they may not be available to purchase in the future. But (now granted, I’m only on my third and it’s not even here yet), I’m finding I need less and less with each baby. This baby won’t even have a nursery–the horror! It will be in our room, then a crib in our office, then eventually transfer to the kids’ bedroom with big brother and big sister.
I found I needed less with each subsequent child too. Our third will eventually bunk in with his brothers (right now he is in with us) and will likely sleep in a travel crib. The horror 🙂
Its funny that you posted this today. because I am about to give a speech on this very topic on Friday! My answer to your question is this: When I was in the middle of a massive purge in my home I was faced with a walkin closet full of all that baby stuff like you. I wanted to get rid of it so bad cuz it took up a lot of space but we weren’t done having kids yet. My husband would think I was crazy! But I prayed to God in that moment and asked Him that if he gave us another child that I would trust that He will provide what we needed for that child. I felt an immediate peace about it and passed it all on to someone who needed it now. I got pregant a month later and I kid you not, people we hardly knew were coming out of the woodwork giving us tons of baby stuff!! It was so exciting! I decided from then on that I would always trust God to provide for us the things we actually needed and not worry about the “what if”.
Thank you for this. : )
I got rid of everything (except a couple memento outfits, pair of shoes) after my first 3 kids. Then 6 years later had our 4th. It was nice to get a few new things and I was amazed at how little I actually needed.
I loved this post. I have 2 daughters, ages 3 and 1. We thought we were “one and done” after our first, and we got rid of everything as she grew out of it as an infant. When she turned one, we had second thoughts and decided to go for number 2! They both bring us so much joy…but all of the STUFF that goes along with it sure doesn’t.
We’ve been saving our 3-year-old’s clothes, but honestly, the moment our 1-year-old grows out of something, out the door it goes!!! I feel really bogged down with old toys, clothes, etc. if I don’t do it that way. Plus, it doesn’t give me time to get attached to it all and associate it with memories. I have photos for that!
This post resonates with me as well as with with many other moms too! We have two kids (4.5 and 2) and I think it’s hard because giving stuff away is a tangible sign that a season has passed. It can be difficult but I try to think of parting as a way to welcome a new season of life. I actually just wrote about taking down our crib last week and would love to share that with you:
http://wp.me/p4SoBJ-iy
Have a great day 🙂
I don’t know if I’m unnatural, but I have kept practically nothing that my girls outgrew. A special toy, the beanie from the hospital. I love them both, but it is unlikely we will have another child and even if I did I wouldn’t want to hoard this until then. Everything goes except for a handful of sentimental items.
My girls are nearly 4 and nearly 2. The odds are high we’ll have another someday, but not this year, and probably not next year. I’m trying my best to keep only the best of the best and limiting the amount of storage space allocated to baby clothes. It’s easy to get rid of well-worn play clothes. It’s harder to get rid of clothes in good condition, but when I find a friend that actually wants a specific item, so I know it will be used and loved, it’s easier to donate. It was easy to give away the baby carseat when the crises center sent out an urgent need for a baby carseat. The other baby gear is harder.
We are very, very unlikely to have another child. (We adopted our two at birth & have no plans to adopt again. And I’m 41. So unless we are the beneficiaries of some extraordinary miracle of nature, there will be no more babies here.) So we’ve been giving things away as we go along.
Our two are only 14 months apart, so I didn’t have a chance, after the first, to decide whether to hang on to things “just in case.” When our youngest was born – we were not expecting to adopt again quite so soon – I had recently loaned out our infant car seat to a friend who’d had a baby & lacked the funds for a new one. I thought it was funny that the cliché was true – as soon as you give away the baby stuff, a new one comes along! We moved to another state when our youngest was 9 months old, so passing along all the baby things we were pretty sure we’d never use again made sense to us; it seemed like less of a hassle to possibly have to reacquire things in the unlikely event we needed them again than it was to move them all 500 miles away.
(Now what I am coming up against is resistance from the children – now 5 and 6 – to passing along toys that they’ve really outgrown…but are reluctant to give up. Fortunately we have a good friend with a 1-year-old whom they adore, so slowly – as they are ready to let go – we are passing things along so that she can love them the way they did.)