Week 6: Happiness is…

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How’s your home looking? More importantly, how are you feeling about stuff, your attachment to it and what those small buying choices ad up to after a few years?

This is the week to stop selling DVDs on Amazon or getting rid of those cute on the hangar but painful in-person bras. This week is about the bigger picture. What could having less and living a bit smaller give you and others?

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Forget all of your “but I can’t because ____ ” for a moment and just consider some of these ideas. Disregard that you just refinanced your mortgage, or moved to a bigger home, or bought a second car or got an awesome job that doubled your commute. You’re not selling or buying or changing anything when you suspend your reality for a second and daydream.

If I lived closer to work/school/amenities I could:

  • walk to work
  • get rid of our second car
  • spend more time with my spouse/friends/kids
  • spend more time on myself

If I moved into a smaller home I could:

  • spend less time cleaning
  • lower my mortgage or pay less rent
  • spend less time on tidying/moving the lawn/home repair

If I quit some of my/my kids /evening/weekend activities/classes/commitments I could:

  • go to bed earlier and get more sleep
  • find the time for health/creative/work goals that I really want to invest myself in
  • save more money to retire earlier or give more to charity or travel more
  • feel less rushed
  • spend more time with the ones I love

These won’t be easy things to think about. Some of you may just say it’s not the time for you to open this can of worms. I get it. I truly do.

However, if you’re interested in seeing how the ideas and practices behind this modern minimalist movement can benefit you in a bigger way than a closet full of clothing that you actually wear and fewer impulsive home ware buys – this is it.

This is the stuff that really excites me. One day you’re cutting the cable which feels pretty radical and a few months later you’re trying your hand at living without a car. You started this journey just hoping to finally clear the basement so you could put a second television down there for the kids or finally renovate for a guest room but then the basement is empty and you’re thinking, why do I need this extra room? The kids are finally playing in their rooms because they can find their toys and my reading chair is no longer piled with clothing so I have my quiet spot to finish The Goldfinch. Could we live in something smaller?

It doesn’t mean you have to act on these thoughts or opportunities. Simply coming to the realization that you maybe don’t need as much as you once thought you did is a huge win. Because if you can see that what you once thought of as a need is really a want, you’ll feel much more content with what you do have.

So… think about it. I’ll have a few more posts up this week and a wrap up for the Clutter Cleanse with more resources for those of you still feeling the weight of your stuff.

  • It’s so nice to find you still here cheerily giving excellent counsel. I have experienced this this magical process myself – clear things out, stacks of recordings from my olds bands for example – and I have the place to start PLAYING music again. Clear out piles of the kids’ artwork, and we have room to paint! Sun streaming in and a little, make-shift art studio with a folding table, paints and paper. Nothing elaborate, but space (physical, mental, spiritual) to dream, imagine, soak life in…Thank you. (I still haven’t done anything nearly as radical as cut the cable..we do live w/out a car b/c in in NYC…I admire your no-TV life!)

  • It’s hard to get my husband to give up the (mostly) empty guest room – he wants it to help guests save money when they visit. The reality is the guest bed is our laundry catch-all and only houses guests two months or so a year. We live overseas, so plane tickets are expensive and the free stay is extra incentive to get them over here.

    NO cars and only a ten minute bike to work so happily living out most of the minimalist financing/scheduling dreams!

    • Molly – when we lived overseas it was really nice to have a flex room/guest room. I agree, it encourages people to visit and you really get to spend time with people when they are staying in your home vs. a hotel.
      No cars!! Lovely 🙂

  • Without a doubt living with less creates space for more. Since having our major declutter these last couple of months I have more time for the things I want to do – even just mentally I feel lighter and more motivated.

  • The somewhat opposite of this is also true, the realization that we don’t ‘need’ a bigger home, that an extra toy room, bathroom etc is not required. Therefore, the plan for the next move and the bigger mortgage is no longer part of the picture. I appreciate it is not the same as actually going smaller but it is a shift in mentality.

  • I would love to have a much smaller place, but I haven’t figured out how to help my husband organize his tools, equipment that is too advanced for me to identify, and materials to recycle/upcycle. It’s really beyond me! A 2 car garage that we can’t park in, an even bigger shed, and half a basement, all full of that kind of stuff. Not a hoarder as much as a dreamer of new projects. If you or your readers have some advice for me I am all ears. Thanks!

    • Oh husbands! LOL I found over the past few years, that I can’t touch my husband’s stuff. I mean, it’s not mine to deal with and I can’t MAKE him get on the minimalist bandwagon. I can only declutter, organize, recycle…MY stuff. After at least 3 years of (trying to) live a simpler lifestyle my husband is finally showing signs of wanting to implement some of my minimalist actions. I would take care of your stuff first, and that can include household goods that belong to both of you, and then maybe from your example your husband will follow.
      However, it sounds like you’re at your wits end. My sister-in-law secretly removes junk from her house. If her husband asks for something specific, she’ll bring it back in. If it’s not missed for 6 months, it goes to the dump.

  • I need to keep this in mind in the next few months. My husband is almost done with school, and there’s a chance that with his graduation we’ll move to another city. If that happens, we need to remember not to move into a bigger place, especially if we have no roommates.
    If we stay local, we should stay exactly in our apartment. No ‘moving up’ just because he’ll have a better job. We don’t need more space, and we don’t need to pay more rent!
    As nice as some other apartments and condos around here are…not yet. This is a good lesson in patience.

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