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The Simplest Gift

March 7, 2013 By 8 Comments

 

 

 

We’ve received some lovely little clothes for our second son since he arrived. Lovely notes in the mail and hugs and texts and emails of congratulations.

Along with the thoughtful notes and tiny clothes, we’ve received meals.

We had a weekend of incredible dinners brought to us, enough for a feast and leftovers for lunch the next day. It was a bounty of salads, beautifully prepared meats and vegetables and fresh berries for dessert that left all of us very full and very happy. It was not only delicious but also unexpected and so very appreciated.

One afternoon I sent my husband a message saying I was very tired and that I would defrost something from the freezer for dinner instead of cooking. He replied that a coworker had brought in a home cooked meal for us that he was bringing home for dinner. Fortuitous timing that I was so grateful for. As we tucked into a beautiful homemade meal that evening I felt so much gratitude for the kindness of friends.

Every meal that has been made for us has been a delight in so many ways: a much needed reprieve from cooking, great fuel for the long nights of being up with a newborn and an inspiration as we tasted flavor combinations and cooking methods that were new to us.

Giving a meal is such a simple gift and yet it has such a big impact.

A meal gives the gift of rest and nourishment. It’s fuel, kindness and a break in a Pyrex container.

Read the rest of this post a Home Your Way.

photo credit: visualpanic

 

Filed Under: Gifts, Kitchen

The 10 Signs of a Bad Gift

December 17, 2012 By 28 Comments

Just eight days until Christmas.

Eight days to get yourself in a panic when you unexpectedly receive a gift from someone and having nothing to give in return but your thanks.

Eight days to think “it’s just not enough” and heat up your credit card with impulse purchases.

Eight days to buy a bad gift.

A gift that doesn’t show you care about or know the receiver well.

A gift that instead of saying, I’m grateful for our friendship and appreciate you, says, I originally bought this for the dog walker, remember when we had a dog a few years back?, but forgot to give it to them and thought I would wrap it up and keep on hand should I be without a gift to reciprocate with.

Here are ten signs you’re about to give a bad gift:

1. It was purchased at a convenience store en route to a party.

2. It was sourced from a present stash: a closet the giver keeps stocked with random things they find on sale or that they bought for themselves, didn’t like and couldn’t return.

3. Accompanying gift receipt from the As Seen on TV store.

4. The gift giver says they really wanted it for themselves and are wistful when the gift is opened.

5. It’s a regift and the giver is as surprised by what’s under the wrapping paper as the receiver is.

6. The item has this slogan on it: “my _____ went to ______ and all I got was this lousy ______ .”

7. The gift is Poo-Pourri.

8. Two words: Christmas Cake

9. The gifts are given out en masse to open at the same time because “everyone’s getting the same thing this year.” Meaning the five year-old nephew and the 65 year-old grandmother are both getting their very own Elf on a Shelf.

10. It was purchased pre-wrapped.

You have eight days to avoid all of this.

Take a deep breath and repeat after me: I will not let myself give useless and meaningless last minute gifts this year.

I will not buy someone something just because they bought me something.

I will not keep a pre-wrapped box of chocolates on hand just in case someone ambushes me with a gift even though we had agreed that we weren’t buying each other anything this year.

I will be gracious and thankful in receiving a gift and tell the person how much I appreciate them and that will be enough.

Anyone been tempted to buy last minute “just in case” gifts yet? Or received a gift when you had nothing to give in return except a hug?

Filed Under: Gifts, Holidays

Simple Holidays: What Worked Last Year?

November 5, 2012 By 22 Comments

I know we’re still a few weeks away from US Thanksgiving so some of you may be irked that I’m already writing about the big winter holidays. But if you’re preparing for turkey-fest 2012 you can still put a bit of thought on what will happen in the weeks after.

I’ll be writing about the holidays, celebrating simply and gifting with intention, on Mondays from now into December.

Last year we had the simplest of Christmas and winter holiday celebrations. We attended a few small parties and my husband’s big winter work gala, met up with friends to take our children to meet Santa (Father Christmas as they say here) in a medieval castle and then we went to Edinburgh for five days.

On Christmas day our son opened one present and we went to the zoo.

I can’t recall what dinner was but it was homemade and it wasn’t turkey.

It was a wonderful and stress free holiday season.

I’m thinking back to last year as I make plans for this holiday season. Even though they will be quite different experiences.

We’ll be on island, I’ll be very pregnant and we have a three year old that understands gift giving and receiving. There are lots of Manx events we want to see and go to. We should, fingers and visa permits crossed, have a visitor here for the holidays. We’ll have our first real Christmas tree to decorate.

What worked for us last year:

  • Planning meals: I preordered a grocery delivery for our stay in Edinburgh and meal planned for our five day holiday. It was nice to just enjoy our surroundings instead of hunting down a grocery store that was open Christmas Eve. I’ll do the same this year making note of the evenings we’ll be out at events and parties.
  • Spacing out gift opening: Henry opened one gift on Christmas Day and when we returned home he opened one gift, or set of of gifts, once a day (he ended up with three days of gift opening).
  • Connecting with our families: I love you, Skype. It was so nice to see and hear our families back in Canada over the holidays. It’s when we feel the distance, and the downside, of our ex-pat life most.

What could have gone better last year:

  • Decorating: we had a few decorations left from the previous tenants in our old place but the festive look to our little flat came from sound more than sight (I was playing the Micheal Buble Christmas album on repeat). Because we were going away I didn’t feel a huge need to decorate and while I made good use of our mistletoe spring, I missed having a tree. We’ll have a real! live! Christmas tree this year and Henry and I will make some homemade decorations.
  • Researching Holiday Events: I found out about the mini Santa Train after the tickets had sold out. Not this year. I’ve looked through the local calendar and made a list of the things we’d like to see and do. We won’t get around to all of them obviously but I’m excited to fit in what our schedule and stamina allows.

With this in mind I’m crafting out our holiday plan and calendar.

Nothing is set in stone but I hope to watch Operation Petticoat with my sister whilst nibbling on homemade Poppycock.

We’re researching where we can give locally to help other families have a great holiday season.

I’m ambitiously taking on making a cardboard playhouse as a big gift for Henry and working on a Christmas Day meal plan that doesn’t leave me chained to the kitchen for eight hours on the day of.

This week I am posting off a package of holiday treats to family in Canada.

Small tasks and goals that should leave us with lots of relaxing time as the winter holiday season ramps up.

Did you simplify gift giving and events last year? What worked for you? What will you change this year?

Filed Under: Gifts, giving, Holidays

Is It Rude To Ask For No Gifts?

October 23, 2012 By 59 Comments

Third birthday parties can be overwhelming for all involved. We’re all still recovering here from the fun and frenzy of Henry’s birthday weekend.

Unlike the last two years we celebrated this milestone with what is for us a large party. Almost 40 of our friends and their children helped us mark the day with a class of singing and games, including all of us joining in on the hokie pokie, and finished it off with lunch and cupcakes. I chopped a lot of vegetables and fruit the day before and Henry helped me make train cookies as treats for his friends to take home. Yep, I didn’t succumb to loot bag pressure.

While it required more time, energy and dollars than our previous birthday celebrations, I’m very happy that we did a big birthday party.

Why? It was fun! Our son really enjoyed it. So did we. So did our friends (I think).

Simple and small and slow is great but there is also a time and place to go big. All things in moderation – even minimalism.

Many of you had great comments and suggestions when I confessed that I had requested on the invitations that people not bring gifts. Some of you even warned me that people would bring gifts anyways. You were right. A handful of our friends brought sweet and thoughtful gifts for our boy. A few people said they felt weird not bringing a gift. I reassured everyone that whatever their response was it was appreciated.

Is it rude to ask people not to give you gifts?

I’ve had a few emails recently from people already feeling anxious over holiday gift giving and how to manage both their children’s expectations and the generosity of friends and relatives.

First, Kristen had a great post up last week about ways to lower children’s Christmas present expectations. Lots of practical suggestions and tips in her post and the comments section. I’ll have more posts next months on how we are managing holiday giving this year.

Second, I don’t think it’s rude to ask people not to give you gifts. As long as you word it gently I think it is reasonable to ask people not bring gifts on an occasion where it is normal to do so.

It is, however, rude to make people feel awkward or bad about a gift they do or do not give you.

There should be only one response upon receiving a gift: thank you. It’s the same for commenting on a pregnant woman’s appearance. The only appropriate thing to say to a pregnant woman is you look fantastic. Not huge or too small or way bigger than last time.

At the end of the day friends and family are far more important to me than our efforts to have fewer things in the home. Gifts that we don’t need can be easily re-gifted or donated or returned. Hurt feelings aren’t nearly as simple or easy to deal with.

Do you think it is rude to ask for no gifts on an occasion where gifts are usually given? 

Filed Under: Gifts, giving

Leaving Minimalism

September 27, 2012 By 69 Comments

The title Minimalist Mom isn’t that accurate for me. If you’ve read a few posts here you’ll know that I aim for less and what we can live comfortably with rather than a rigid goal of a handful of possessions.

I chose the name while in a burst of zeal for the idea of what Minimalism could give me. I was excited, hopeful and had grand dreams of sparsely furnished rooms and a wardrobe that could fit in a small carry-on suitcase. After many rounds of decluttering I’ve found that the things my family want in our home, the things we use, is often in flux. I’ve found that I’m not interested in counting our possessions or living a nomadic lifestyle. I am interested in the space, time and money having less can give me and my family.

I’m not really a minimalist. We have a television, my son has a push bike he has yet to master and I recently bought a blender and a crock pot.

While I’m not a true minimalist I’m still fascinated by the idea of fewer possessions and the many returns from living with less. That’s why I keep writing here. That’s why I deliberate a lot longer on purchases than I used to. That’s why I have just two pairs of jeans, why we don’t have a car and why I keep a pretty sparse pantry. I like what having less gives me.

Friends Saying Goodbye to Minimalism.

Recently two of my blogging friends have discussed why minimalism is no longer right for them.

Rayna, a contributing writer to Frugal Mama, wrote about shutting down her blog The Suburban Minimalist almost a year ago. Embracing the movement had been positive at first and then lead her to a place she wasn’t comfortable or happy with.

 I’d learned the hard way that although there’s much to be said for living with (much) less than the average American, there are also quite a few things to be said for creature comforts and man-made beauty. Fluffy towels and familiar mugs sweeten our daily rituals. A closet with enough flattering choices makes me feel feminine and confident on the days I’m just not. – Rayna St. Pierre

Her new blog, Bright Copper Kettles, explores simplicity, design and the small things that make her life wonderful. It’s a nice read and I recommend popping in particularly for her links round up. Rayna has a great eye for articles and design that will inspire you to find more beauty in your life without making you feel bad about your living room that is covered in children’s toys or that you have yet to replace the glass on a picture frame that broke three months ago (guilty).

Faith started writing at MinimalistMoms around the same time I started this blog. Later she moved to MinimalistatHome and has written several e-books on minimalism and families. Recently she decided to move her writing away from minimalism.

… it became harder and harder to write a “minimalist” blog after two years. I’ve grown tired of wondering if what I have to say is minimalist enough or even if I am minimalist enough.. – Faith Janes

Faith’s new home online for living with less is a digital magazine called Simplify that launches October 1st. You can sign up to receive the first edition here.

Still Sticking With The M Word

I’ll still be here writing about my own brand of minimalism, the challenges of living counter-culturally and if I really needed that crock pot or blender.

While the term minimalism sounds extreme I think there is a lot to glean from the movement for even non-radical folk like myself. I like the discussion here about how to live with less, the benefits of it and how to go about it happily in a world that doesn’t support slow and simple living.

Real Simple magazine always told me that it was ‘life made easier, every day’ but I found that when I read it, I hated my home and felt the pressure to buy a lot of baskets and label makers and organize instead of truly simplify. I used to flip through those glossy pages and tell myself that I’d have a show worthy home if I just tried harder and made bread from scratch and a jar of lemon curd for an Amalfi Coast inspired luncheon replete with Limoncello ordered direct from Sorrento, Italy.

Life wasn’t made easier. Life was harder and the expectations bigger in ways that just made me tired. I had zero of the 20 must-have classic wardrobe staples for a woman in her 30′s. My vintage mason jar collection was nonexistent.

I wasn’t inspired by the supposed ease of this everyday beautiful simplicity. I was overwhelmed.

There is room in my life for beauty and minimalism. I keep fresh flowers on our kitchen window sill, not the dining room table, because that is where I enjoy them most. When I’m washing dishes I see my vase, sometimes it’s just a water glass, filled with the cheap and cheerful white carnations I buy myself or roses, a gift from a friend, and it’s enough for me.

Because I have less I appreciate what I do have more.

I’ll still be here writing about minimalism and how we’re making it work for us. With our roses on the window sill, our blender and even my expensive ballet flats that fell apart.

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