Kids | The Minimalist Mom

Your Clutter Coach

May 7, 2012 By theminimalistmom 7 Comments

Source: theminimalistmom.com via Rachel on Pinterest

Sometimes you need more help than a book or a blog can give you.

Sometimes you need a friend to remind you to donate those bags of unworn clothing that are sitting in your basement.

Sometimes you need someone to make a plan for you, motivate you and keep you accountable.

Sometimes you need a Clutter Coach.

I get a lot of emails asking for help. I always respond (even it takes me a while) with advice, suggestion and encouragement.

And I always wonder, did they carve out a weekend to clean out that attic? Are they in the throes of home purging and feeling beaten by the process? Did they pull out some boxes from under their bed, lose a few hours looking through old junk, and then decide it was all too much work?

For some time I’ve wanted to help beyond the posts on this blog. Something very personal for paring down and living smaller.

A book wasn’t the answer. There are already some great books out there like Family-Sized Minimalism and Clutter Bootcamp for inspiration and how-to. A book can’t hold your hand, give you a kick in the butt or suggest another method for dealing with all that mail.

I want to do those things.

I want to see closets go from jam packed to roomy.

I want to help people get more sleep.

I want to find solutions for the mud room clutter that can be so hard to reign in.

So I’ve started something new.

Your Clutter Coach

This is for people that:

can’t make the time to declutter even after reading a lot of books and blogs on the subject
get sidetracked by old photos and trinkets every time they attempt to clean out the guest room
have pared down their stuff but it crept back quickly
need motivation and accountability to clear clutter for good

Your Clutter Coach is a personalized decluttering program. It’s tailored to your lifestyle, your needs and your schedule. It’s me kicking your butt and you kicking ass.

You can read more about the services here.

If you’re interested in the program I am currently giving away one free Four Week Clutter Coaching Program at Parenting with Crappy Pictures (if you haven’t visited this site before it is hilarious). The giveaway is open until Tuesday May 8th at 8pm PST. Head on over to read the details and enter.

PS. This will be the only time I mention Your Clutter Coach in a big post like this.

Filed Under: 2011 Challenge, Bathroom, books DVDs and media, car free, Clothing, DVDs, etc, Finances, Furniture, Getting Started, Gifts, giving, Guest Posts, Health, inspiration, Internet, Kids, Kitchen, Media: books, minimalist with kids, Minimize Yo Butt, moving overseas, Off Topic, One Simple Thing, paying it forward: wedding edition, Project 333, shopping mistakes, Storage, Technology, Travel, Uncategorized

Losing things that you’re emotionally attached to.

May 1, 2012 By theminimalistmom 24 Comments

farewell blanket, farewell

Henry’s blanket was lost in March.

I came home from my first away weekend and while the boys had a great time together, there was a casualty. A baby blanket my good friend gave me was lost somewhere between our home and the ferry terminal. It’s been our stroller/play/travel blanket since Henry turned one.

For a few weeks I held out hope that it would be found. I went into shops along the route and asked if anyone had brought it in with no luck. I thought there was a good chance someone had found it and would contact us. Our last name is on the blanket and it’s not a common one.

But it’s gone. For good.

I was initially quite sad about losing the blanket. It’s been such a mainstay of our travels and Henry’s toddlerhood. I love that it was handmade, I love that it is from a friend and that it reminds me of her.

Yes, this aspiring minimalist feels some attachment to a thing.

Then I realized that one of the reasons I was sad is that my son is growing up. Losing the blanket was compounded with the realization that we are using the stroller less and less. No booster seat at the table. We’re even using our one and only bib less frequently.

When I thought about getting a replacement blanket I knew we probably didn’t need one. The weather is getting milder and by next fall Henry will be out of the stroller for good.

My son’s toddlerhood is slipping away. He’s growing up.

The blanket was a symbol of certain age of his life and I attach a lot of good memories to it.

So, I’m trying to relive a few of those memories lately. Looking through older photos, reminisceing with my husband and savouring the memories of Henry’s babyhood.

I still have a pang about losing the blanket but I’ve realized it’s not all about the blanket – it’s about what the blanket represented to me.

Have you lost anything that represented a certain time or right of passage in your life? How did you deal with losing it?

Filed Under: Getting Started, Kids

What to do with unwanted gifts from relatives

April 30, 2012 By theminimalistmom 50 Comments

Source: ohhellofriendblog.com via Meghan on Pinterest

Answering a question from a reader today. If you have a topic you would like discussed here just email me at theminimalistmom at gmail dot com.

From reader A:

Several family members are shoppers/pack rats and have been so incredibly generous to us, particularly since we had our baby. However, this means that we have a huge influx of stuff, even though neither my husband nor I shop. If I wasn’t such a purger by nature, we could have been featured on an episode of hoarders by now. As it is, our reasonably sized apartment is completely packed to the gills.

Do you have any experience/advice on how to deal with the sometimes unwanted gifts from others without hurting anyone’s feelings? Suggestions that we could give them on what to give us instead of more stuff? I would hate to seem ungrateful or to offend anyone, but I end up giving so much away, and that doesn’t feel right either. . .

Our first Christmas after the big purge I opened every gift for my son, and there were many, and I felt deflated at the thought of storing it in my home. The gifts felt like a burden instead of what they were: gifts.

I was torn with guilt at not feeling gratitude and frustration over the work these gifts would be: sorting, donating, stressing over if someone noticed we no longer had them in our home.

Since then I’ve worked on a few things and have come to a happy place on what to do with unwanted gifts and how to gracefully and lovingly deal with generous relatives.

Make your wishes known.

My mom and my mother-in-law know about this blog and read it. We’ve talked to them about our hopes of raising Henry without a lot of stuff.

But, you know, they’re still grandmas.

They love giving their grandson gifts and clothes. Moving overseas has not deterred them. They pay exorbitant amounts of postage to send Henry clothing and toys on his birthday and at Christmas. And even someitmes just because they saw something for him that they couldn’t resist.

They’ve toned it down a shade, which is helpful, but we still get a lot of things from them. So I don’t get frustrated by it now. If they still want to send a lot of stuff they know we might donate it if it’s not something we will use.

Let them know what you need.

Another thing that has greatly helped is that we give them gift ideas and let them know what we have used from previous gifts.

Both grandmas love buying clothes so I make sure to tell them about the ones that they have bought and that we use a lot. When we were visiting family in Canada recently I pointed out when Henry was wearing something that they had bought (which was most of his outfits) and thanked them again for it. Side note: I rarely buy clothes for my son. We get enough from the grandmas that I only need to buy a handful of things when Henry grows out of a size.

You can also use a list making tool, like Amazon Wish List, and share it with relatives. That way they are buying things they know you will use.

Ask for experience gifts.

We suggested, and received, a family pass for the Vancouver Art Gallery one year. Every time we went to the gallery I mentioned it to my mother-in-law and thanked her again for the gift.

If people want suggestions for gifts ask for passes to the zoo, aquarium, children’s museum, etc. Make sure to send a quick note of thanks or mention it in passing when you use those experience gifts. It reinforces that they gave a gift that kept on giving and they’ll be more likely to give an experience gift again.

Keep things for a short time and then donate them.

Prolific gift givers tend to forget what they bought. Unless it’s an heirloom item, store it away for a few months and then pass it on to someone that will use it.

Are you running the risk that someone will ask about it and you’ll have to tell them you donated their gift? Yes. It might feel awkward at first but thank them again for the gift and then say you weren’t able to use it.

I know it doesn’t feel right to donate gifts but if you’ve made your wishes known, if you’ve suggested experience gifts or things you could use, and the gift giver still hasn’t taken the message, move on. It’s your home and you can decide what stays and what goes – regardless of if it was a gift.

Always be thankful.

I’m a terrible gift receiver. Long before embracing minimalism I felt awkward and embarrassed when I received gifts. The reasons are many fold and have to do with receiving charity as a child, growing up without a lot of money and my dad. Too cliched and boring to get into here.

I’m trying to be a better gift receiver now. To be thankful and cheerful even if I’m getting something that is going right to the donation pile.

Because the gift isn’t about me. The gift has nothing to do with my son’s minimalist toy box or my two pairs of jeans or my small home.

The gift is about the person giving it.

So smile for them and be thankful.

Anyone else have suggestion for dealing with unwanted gifts from relatives?

Filed Under: Kids, minimalist with kids

Are You Raising Your Kids to be Hoarders?

April 13, 2012 By theminimalistmom 33 Comments

This is a guest post from Lorilee Lippincott from Loving Simple Living.

Commercial society has done a great job filling up kids lives. Couple that with the fact that houses keep getting bigger and most kids are now getting their own rooms. Kids have room for more and more stuff. Retail has done a great job of translating love to equal gifts and often it is kids that get the brunt of this lie. Kids collect gifts at birthday, Christmas, every other holiday, when they get a good grade, when they behave in the store, as a reward for doing a chore, as a apology or a way of making up for parenting mistakes, and sometimes for no reason at all. Kids get gifts from parents, grandparents, relatives, teachers, friends, and more. There is a constant flow of stuff into our kids life and space.

In my home, and probably in yours, my kids have more stuff to process and sort coming in that I do. Pair that with the fact that minimalism can be seen by some as cutting back, almost depriving, it is the last thing we want to inflict on our kids. We want to show them that every gift is special, ever art project is valuable, and that nothing should be wasted. However, in doing this we are further telling them that stuff is tied to love, experiences, and value.

As a parent it is our job to teach the opposite. To teach our kids that love is shown in many ways and that a person is not more or less because of the stuff that they own or have given as gifts. At the same time we need to guard against our kids being overwhelmed and stressed out because of their amount of stuff. We are responsible from birth on up (in different degrees to match ages) to create a living space that will inspire, relax, and grow them as ‘little’ people. I want my kids to love their room and have no trouble maintaining, playing, or cleaning it up. I want them to have time and space for lots of creative play.

Minimalist living, for us and for our kids, is about the benefits and environment we are creating and giving, not about depriving or anything we are taking away. Because that is the focus lets look at what kids should have access too: (not every kid at every age needs these, but this is the list I use for my kids)

Art supplies – a few good quality ones not a whole pile of broken crayons, dried markers and half finished projects.
Building/Structural Toys – blocks, legos, or something similar but only one or maybe two sets. They don’t need a bunch of pieces that get mixed up and don’t fit together.
Relational/Nurture Toys – Dolls, Barbies, stuffed animals. Same with above, they don’t need all of them. There are dolls of so many sizes with cloths and accessories to match. A nice set of one or two types of dolls is all that is needed.
Active Toys – Proper equipment for a few sports or activities that they enjoy.
Puzzles and group games – A few age appropriate and quality options.
Dress up – Probably more applicable for younger kids. A few quality, none character specific options that can fit many roles for creative play.
Books – more books don’t equal more reading. Having a few age appropriate books and a clean spot to read them equals more reading. Kids go through books fast so it is always good to have new and interesting books, but they don’t need to keep the ones they have read. Libraries or other book sharing options are amazing for this.
A few more child specific pieces can fit in as well.

Once we know what they need to have, it is very easy to see everything else as stuff that they shouldn’t have.

I first started to understand this when I noticed that my kids played the best after I had cleaned and organized their rooms for them. They were too overwhelmed to clean it themselves. They were crowded and overstimulated. They suffer from the same clutter stress and are overwhelmed just like we are.

We cut back on almost all of our kids toys a year ago (when they were 7 and 4). They now share a room and it is still mostly manageable for them to keep clean on their own. Their clothes and toys all can be put in their closet and they have lots of floor space to play. It was a huge change for us, but I wish we had done it sooner.

Lorilee writes about her family’s pursuit of less stuff and more living at Loving Simple Living. You can read more about how they downsized from a 2000 sq ft home to a 900 sq ft apartment here.

Filed Under: Guest Posts, Kids

The Real Price of Things: Calculating Cost Per Use

March 12, 2012 By theminimalistmom 34 Comments

The holes in those jeans make me really happy.

Those jeans were worn from the age of 10 months to almost two and a half.

Those jeans were worn two to three times a week for 19 months.

Those jeans were on him as he learned to walk, learned to run and learned to climb stairs.

That’s around 190 wears for this one clothing item.

The jeans were about $20 CDN if I remember correctly.

So that’s about 10 cents a wear.

Not bad.

Even better, I am now stashing those jeans away for our next child. There’s still some life in those jeans. I’ll wait and get the knees patched up and another toddler will learn to walk, run and climb stairs in them.

Last week when I wrote about my splurge boots there were some good comments on calculating the price of something based on use. Sarah went so far as to suggest I could calculate the cost per mile for those boots. And KT chimed in with a reminder that her expensive jeans are not so expensive because she wears them all the time.

Frye Boots with tax, shipping and 25% discount: $252.26 CDN.

Wearing them for: 14 months.

Average kilometeres per month: I don’t wear these as much in the summer. It doesn’t get that warm here so boots are still useful in an Isle of Man summer but I wear a pair of sandals more. I’m going to guess that I average 4 kilometres a day over a year. That would 1680 kilometres so far on those boots.

Cost per use for expensive designer Frye boots: 15¢/km

If I get five years of use out of these boots I could end up at pennies a kilometre for wear.

Again, not bad.

Doing these kind of calculations has made me more determined to invest in things we will use a lot. It’s not only about buying quality, or paying more, but taking some time to think about how much you will use the item.

Will it work for 95% of your life or 5%?

Would it be a smarter to rent the item when you need it? This goes for everything from ski equipment to hand bags.

Of course, not everything that I own has had as good a run as these little jeans.

There are still sweaters I bought that are bit too short and that soft sided picnic cooler from last summer that we only used once (no freezer = no cooling method!). But I’m learning.

Does anyone else calculate cost per use or amortize purchase price over years of use? I held out for many years on buying a Mac laptop. My PC laptops kept blowing up after 2-3 years of use (always right after the extended warranty expired). I got the second hand Mac that I use now almost four years ago and it’s still going strong. Well worth the investment.